Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
