Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
