Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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