Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
