I saw his package. It spoke to me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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