It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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