How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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