She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
