you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
