You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
