there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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