I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need a beard to bite.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
