The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
