i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Pants 0. Shit 1.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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