There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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