i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
