I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
