the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
