I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
