billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you inspire me to be a worse person
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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