she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
