You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My vagina is officially offended.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
