The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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