I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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