addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
