so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
