the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
