D3 body, D1 cock
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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