I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
