I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
