I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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