batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
