I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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