i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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