New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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