I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
