why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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