At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
