i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
