Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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