you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
