we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
