found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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