Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
cat food counts as protein by the way
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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