Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
