checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
