i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
