Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My hand turned me down
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
