it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
handjob tips. give me some.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
