There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
