Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
